A young girl I know asked me:

I have a question for you; how can you always say that everything will be okay? because not everything is okay. I hate my life. And, i think about suicide most often. I don't eat. And,I can't sleep. And, nothing improves in my daily social life. I am hopeless.. like a towel hung to dry..no matter how many times you wring it out, there is still water in it. Just exchange the water for pain and the towel for myself.

-Jennifer

Well, Jennifer... I quite didn't know what to say at first. But I think I'm going to try and answer your question.

First of all, I see a lot of who I used to be in you--a girl who is lost, loney, and afraid. A girl who doesn't know what to do. Who feels like they are the only one who knows the pain that they deal with. Yeah, that used to be me.

Forgive me if you feel like I am preaching at you--that is not how I want to come across at all. Know that everything I say is out of love. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything.

How can I say that everything will be okay? Because I know everything will be okay. I know who holds my future. I don't have to worry about what's going to happen to me, because I know that someone is taking absolute care of me.

If you've been reading my blog, you know that I have given my entire life to God. I'm living in complete surrender to His love and His plans for me and His will... I've found my entire security in the love that he has for me. At one point, I felt so hopeless--even after I became a Christian. I struggled so much with my life, but once I did give it to Him, a freedom and a peace filled my life. He gave me hope. Real hope--not just a one shot, one day thing, but a hope to last for a lifetime.

Maybe that's not what you wanted to hear... but that is the truth. God is the reason for the hope that I have. He is the reason for the joy in my life.

And it wasn't easy giving my life to Him--trust me, I feel like I would know more than anyone. I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to live the life I wanted to lead, or live like I wanted to. But I find that living the life He wants me to live--becoming the person He has made me to be--has been so rewarding. Yes, my steps are taken slowly. Yes, it's hard giving up the things I want to keep hold of.

However, I know that the pain I went through to get to this point was totally worth it. I would rather be in the arms of God for the rest of my life than go back to the way that I was--even if I'm walking in dark places, even if the road gets rough, and the winds and the waves around me, even if I can't see where I'm going. I know it sounds crazy or impossible to achieve--but from my life I have gathered that it is possible. And it's not by my own strength, or by my own hands that I am in this place of hope. It's because of what He's done in my life.

God is the reason for my hope. That's how I can say that everything is going to be okay. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, even though I walk in a world of hopelessness and troubles, I know who holds my hand and walks me through. I don't need to fear death--because He has given me eternal life! So why do I need to fear it if I know that I'm going to spend eternity walking with Him? I don't need to.

 He has phenominally changed my life since I decided to lay down my life and take up the cross and follow Him. Yes, it's hard at times, and I struggle just like anyone else... but my hope is placed in Him.

And you know what? He loves you so much, and He's waiting for the day when you will turn around and run to His open arms, too. All the hope that He's given to me He can give to you, too.

If you're still reading, that may not be what you want to hear. But it's the absolute truth. And the Bible says that "the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)

Jennifer, I will pray for you.

God loves you so much, even if you don't feel like He does.

Much love

Teresa