Ah, Senior Night of Fantacular. I bawled. What can I say?

So Fantacular is here, and I'm not dead. In fact, it is going so much better than I thought it would be.

As I stated, tonight was Senior Night. As all of us seniors sang our song, we all looked back at the last four years. What a time it has been.

I remember my freshman year with Jodi Cotton. I was so nervous and so scared to go on stage--a big difference from the girl I am today. I take that stage with so much confidence, and I'm always so excited to return to it. It's almost like a second home to me. That stage and I have a symbiotic relationship. I can't imagine not being there, and it definitely is not the same without me.

Then came Jennifer Barnes--the year I learned how NOT to lead. I was such a bag, and people and I always make fun of me for how I acted. That year was quite... uh... interesting. We were so bad that year, and there were rough times. My good friend started to hate me, I was depressed. MAN, sophomore year sucked so bad.

My junior year was the year of being a pushover, and I learned to let nobody walk on me, or use me to scare roomhosts away. Same thing, right? Anywho, we got so much better that year, thanks to Mr. Cremeans salvaging what was left of a ragged program. Hey, not too shabby. City Lights won Grand Champs once and placed at nearly every one, and City Heat made finals nearly every time. Hey, we even won Best Vocals once.

And then came this year--the year I learned to have confidence in myself, the year I learned to sing out and be myself, the year I became "the latté girl." Mr. Cremeans pushed me to do so well, put so much faith in me--I grew tons and learned so much about who I am. It definitely would not have been the same without eating lunch in his office every day this trimester. I cried, I laughed--good times to be had by all. I think this has been my favorite year of all.

We have one performance left, and then I'm done with Sounds of the City. I'm going to miss it so much. Heck, I'm going to miss the people so much.

Here are some shout-outs to my second family.

~To my girls--Kala, Kaley, Kirsten--you have done so much for me that I could never repay. I don't think it would have been the same without your smiles and encouragement, and fun times at competitions. I don't think I would have made it through last summer without you guys.

~To my other girls: Leslie, Laura, and Jory--riding the bus with you guys was sooooo much fun! That's what made my weekends. The long bus rides playing the ABC game and yelling at Mr. Cremeans will always be a cherished memory. Leslie, I know I didn't get really close to you until this year, but I'm glad I had someone like you to talk to. Your friendship with me has been a wonderful gift. When I come back to visit next year, you will be the first one I call. Laura--I'm so glad that I've gotten to know you in "close, personal" ways for the past three years. You have always, always, always been there for me, and I can't thank you enough. You are so incredibly funny. I heart you so much Laura! And Jory, I'm so glad that we practically grew up across the street from eachother. I will never forget, funny as it was, the fight over the ice cubes. Ha, wow.

~To Craig, thanks for always listening to me, or making me laugh. I think, though, that I will always remember our times in BPA more than our time in show choir. Nationals was soooo incredibly fun!

~To Josh, you will always be my latté boy. I know I keep saying that, but it's true--your support and encouragement meant so much to me this year, even if I never placed. You always made me feel like a winner.

~To Sam: you are my sunshine! Your comments in practice always lightened the mood. Like I said before, you have always appeared to be a strong person, and the crap you put up with makes me admire you even more.

~Brie, I will always remember our fun conversations about life and boys, and being Soprano 1 A's together. Hitting the high notes long and strong! :) Yep, that was us.

~Brenden, you will always be my favorite opener partner.

~Shenae, Dez, and Amy: I don't think I could have asked for better roommates than you girls. We had THE most fun--I will never forget breaking the remote, staying up all hours of the night having conversations with eachother WHILE you were all on cell phones, and most of all--becoming "Vibrator Girl," fending the world from my arch nemesis, "Plastic Penis." Wow... good times. Those were some of the best. Amy, your mom is the best dancer off stage that I know!

~Mr. Cremeans, I can't say thanks enough--without your support, I wouldn't be where I am today, nor would I be persuing my desire for a career in music. I think I will remember most the conversation in the solo warm-up room at Findlay when I was nervous going into finals.

~To the parents--you guys have done so much for all of us. The last four years would not have meant as much without the friendships I formed with you. Jodi, you are my second mom. You have always been there for me--whether it was at BPA Nationals, or auditioning for Anderson, you were there. Thank you so much. King Bill, you have been so much fun to hang out with at competitions. Karyle and Dayanne-the piano moms. You have to be our number one fans. You have been behind us for the past however many years it is now, three I think, literally--always playing for us. Jeff, I don't think I would have found ISU without you. Rex, you have always been straightforward with me, and I love it. I will appreciate it someday. To the many other parents who have put so much time into the program, thank you so much! None of us will ever be able to repay you for everything.

To all of you who I didn't say, I apologize if you are offended. There are just so many of you to thank, so many things to say. I can't thank you all enough.

Wow, am I tired. It's actually 12:50 AM on Sunday, right now.

Words cannot describe the immense amount of sorrow I have for leaving next year. Never again will I have the opportunity to perform like this, on these stages, in these settings, with these people that I hate, and yet love so much. I will miss it so much.

However, I am grateful for the chance to be involved with music for the rest of my life.

Tonight there was much sadness, yet so much celebration for the completion of the last four years. We even made Mr. Cremeans tear up.

Thanks, guys and gals. I will miss you all so much. Your mark in my life will always be there.